What Is The Sexiest Surf Language? You Decide!

In 2020, Timeout Worldwide ranked Italian as the "sexiest language", and again in 2024, The New York Post praised French and Italian as the "most attractive" languages and accents.

Are the Romantics truly that musical when they speak?

Is the native French tongue a chemical aphrodisiac?

Are other languages truly that harsh?

..or are you just not, like… cultured, man?

I'm far from the polyglot that TikTok Superstar @yuji_beleza is, but I have traveled various corners of the planet where English was, whether intentionally or not, entirely foreign to the locale. And like many other venturers, I do my part out of courtesy, and a little bit of brute curiosity, to learn piece of the language, so that I can seem at least marginally like I fit in.

But, what about foreign surfing lineups?

Here's the irony -- surfing's vernacular is characterized by a series of nods, grunts, squawks, nudges, passive aggressive smirks, paired with hyperbolized "YEWs", and a side dish of "Fun out here, ya?"

It's hardly romantic.

However, amidst the chaos of content, and WSL's incessant desire to slap on a headset to the sopping-wet loser of a CT heat, one cannot help but subconsciously think -- "ooooo lovely Ozzy accent there aye?" What about the rest? Can surf lingo be… sexy? You be the judge.

Here are some fun samples I put together with our good friend Sterls.

Sterling -- don't sue me. Please and thank you.